Posts tonen met het label humor. Alle posts tonen
Posts tonen met het label humor. Alle posts tonen

dinsdag 20 juli 2021

Shark!

woensdag 31 juli 2019

Why ask why?

  • Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
  • Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
  • Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
  • Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
  • Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
  • If you can't drink and drive, why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?
  • Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
  • How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
  • If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
  • If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
  • If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
  • If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?
  • If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
  • You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?
  • Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
  • Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
  • Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards?
  • Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
  • You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
  • Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
  • If you have your finger touching the rearview mirror that says -- "objects in mirror are closer than they appear", how can that be possible?
  • Why is it so hard to remember how to spell MNEMONIC?
  • If someone invented instant water, what would they mix it with?
  • Why is it called a TV "set" when you only get one?
  • Why does your nose run and your feet smell?
  • Why does an alarm clock "go off" when it begins ringing?
  • If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?
  • Why does "cleave" mean both split apart and stick together?
  • Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same?
  • Why is it called a "building" when it is already built?
  • Why do they call them "apartments" when they are all stuck together?
  • Why is there an expiration date on SOUR cream?
  • If you keep trying to prove Murphy's Law, will something keep going wrong?
  • Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?
  • How can someone "draw a blank"?
  • Shouldn't there be a shorter word for "monosyllabic"?
  • Why is the word "abbreviate" so long?
  • Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
  • What is another word for "thesaurus"?
  • When they ship styrofoam, what do the pack it in?
  • If 75% of all accidents happen within 5 miles of home, why not move 10 miles away?
  • Why doesn't "onomatopoeia" sound like what it is? 
wiswijzer

vrijdag 27 juli 2018

Geintje

zondag 15 juli 2018

Hoe gaat het met het paard?

Hoe gaat het met het paard?
Het paard gaat niet.
Het paard loopt.
Hoe loopt het paard?
Het gaat wel.:-)

donderdag 28 juni 2018

Erwtensoep

“Eén tuinboon maakt nog geen erwtensoep”
NRC

zondag 22 april 2018

I wanna be rich

Guy rubs a lamp, a genie comes out and says: what's your first wish, Joe?
Joe: I wanna be rich
Genie: what's your second wish, Rich?